Defining moments

Recently my good friend Sara sent me a talk by a General Authority of the Church on defining moments in our lives and discerning them through the Holy Spirit. It was really a great talk and got me thinking about the defining moments in my own life. I decided to commit them to writing so that I wouldn't forget them. So here are some of them.... (I am sure there are many more important moments in my life than the list below, but for some reason I can only think of those that have happened in the last ten years or so. Must be age! :))

1. My baptism: I didn't realize it at all at the time, but that was a turning point in my life. To be honest, I didn't have that strong a testimony when I was baptized in 1997- it was an act of faith, based on the good feelings I had when I was at church, read the scriptures and was around members. But looking back on that decision, I realize how important it was in my life- it marked the starting point of a beautiful journey, the time when I started becoming a different person.... A much better person whom I like much better. :)

2. Temple marriage or nothing: For about two years after I joined the Church, I dated this guy I met at school. He was really nice and he had a big heart and we had a wonderful, loving relationship, but he was not even remotely interested in learning about the Church. For two years I went along, hoping that eventually he would become interested in the Church. By the time we got to the point where we were talking about marriage, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be married to someone who did not hold the priesthood, who smoked and drank and cussed, and who wouldn't go to church with me on Sundays. Then, gradually, something happened.... I realized that this was not the life I wanted for myself or my children. I wanted a temple marriage that would last forever. I wanted a strong priesthood holder to preside in my home. I wanted to be able to share my deepest feelings and most sacred experiences with my eternal companion. I wanted my children to be able to look to their father for counsel, blessings and strength. I wanted my family to be grounded in the gospel and my home to be a haven for all of us. And so I decided that, however much I loved my boyfriend, he was not the person with whom I would make my life. I made a commitment that I would get married in the temple or not at all.... And, even though I have not found that "special someone" yet, I do not regret the decision I made many years ago. I am so grateful that my loving Father helped me see, however dimly, that that sacrifice would bless my life and that of generations to come. I have had that testimony reaffirmed to me several times in the years since.

3. Serve the Lord: Since the time I joined the Church, I knew I wanted to serve a mission. My family was taught by two amazing, loving sister missionaries, and seeing them and the service they gave kindled in me a desire to be just like them. I felt that that desire was righteous and pleasing to Heavenly Father as well. A few years later, I was able to fulfill that desire, and I served a mission on Temple Square, in Salt Lake City. Words cannot tell what that time spent in the service of the Lord did for me. I learned the gospel and understood it better. From learning and teaching about the pioneers and the sacrifices they made to be established in the west, I understood what it means to be committed to the Lord. I grew to love the scriptures and to relish the time I spent each day studying them. I acquired a deep love for the temple and the ordinances we perform therein. I was blessed to serve with amazing people- both my mission presidents and their wives, and fellow sister missionaries- who taught me by example what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. In short, during those 18 months, I became truly converted. I would not be half the person I am now had I not had the privilege of serving.

4. Get a Ph.D.: I did not set out to get a doctorate. When I came to the United States for graduate school, my plan was to complete a Master's degree and then look for a job. But then, a few months before I was to graduate and as I started to look for jobs, I felt a very distinct "stupor of thought." After thinking through it, I realized that Heavenly Father wanted me to stay in school. I was scared, but I did it.... and I actually enjoyed the journey! My degree has led me to a different career track that I had planned on initially and, although I have not given up on my dream of working in international development someday, I know I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I need to be doing. It is a good feeling, even though I don't know why exactly I needed to take this track.

Writing these, I realize that these defining moments are, by and large, times when I have chosen to follow commandments of the Lord rather than the ways of the world. How amazing that the Lord cares about little me enough to direct my life!